Waiting While He's Working

         While cleaning off the desk tonight, I found this note I wrote tucked away in an old notebook.  I didn’t have a date on it, but obviously wrote it before we adopted our five kiddos. Now that we are a family of seven I find the idol of control rearing it’s ugly head all too often.  I read these words and preached right to myself!  Thanking God tonight for the reminder that He is in control.  My job is to faithfully follow Him in obedience.  My prayer at the end of the note was indeed answered in a truly miraculous way!  Thank you Jesus for your amazing grace and unending mercy!

~ Waiting While He’s Working ~ Written sometime before we met our five beautiful children. . . 

            We may be waiting, but God is working, faithfully working out His perfect plan.  I’m learning that the purpose of a season of waiting is not idleness, but a sweet time of drawing near to God and learning to deeper experience the fullness of living in His presence.  But I question my effectiveness of gleaning all the blessings that God is offering me today, at this very moment.  Am I wandering around aimlessly or intentionally drawing near to God and trusting in His promises?  The choice is mine – wander aimlessly or intentionally follow.  I know the greater option – God’s promises, not my plans, but I have this secret obsession with planning!  God is gently showing me that this passion for planning is slowly starving the growth of my relationship with Him.  I’ve been enjoying Sarah Young’s devotional “Jesus Calling”.  Lately many of the entries address how excessive planning hinders our intimacy with God.  In the April 22 entry she writes, “When your mind spins with a multitude of thoughts, you can not hear my voice.  A mind preoccupied to planning pays homage to the idol of control”.  Definitely convicted by my planning leading to an idol of control! 

            I’m discovering a great release and peace as God teaches me these lessons.  I don’t have to plan and worry over every. single. detail. – whew, what a relief!! Proverbs 16:9 says it beautifully, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” The pressure is off! It’s not my job to figure it all out.  Our loving heavenly Father carefully orchestrates every detail according to His perfect will. 

            Many details are far different than what I would have composed for my life, but oh how sweet it is to know the peace and joy that comes with intentionally following the path God has marked for us.  We’re at the time in the adoption process where we are simply waiting for a phone call from our caseworker.  We have no idea when that will come, the children’s ages, whether it’s a girl or boy, whether it’s one child or a sibling group, and so on.  All of these unknowns go completely against my nature of obsessive planning!

            So we wait . . . but oh, how I pray that we don’t wander aimlessly, but draw even nearer to God, intentionally follow His path and faithfully trust in His promises.  We’re praying that God will answer our prayers for a family in a such a miraculous way, that all glory and praise will be His and that the saving grace of Jesus Christ would be made known to many. 

How Sweet To Hold

The Easter season reminds me of a blog post I wrote about one of my favorite songs, “Because He Lives”.  At the time, we were in the adoption process and waiting for children.  Our files were complete, home study finished, and we waited, some days more patiently than others, for a call from our caseworker.  I began this blog to document our adoption journey, but didn’t do so well with keeping it current.  Actually my last post is the one I’m thinking of now and it’s from June 2012.  Oh my, that’s almost two years ago, could it really be that long since I’ve written about our journey?!  God hasn’t taken a break from writing though, He’s writing a beautiful story for our family and I’m praying that He will give me the words and time to record our stories as an encouragement for others.

On Friday, June 1, 2012 I wrote:

~ Verse Two of “Because He Lives” ~

How sweet to hold a new-born baby and feel the pride and joy he gives; but greater still the calm assurance; this child can face uncertain days because Christ lives.

“. . . Our time of worship on Easter 2012 once again included, “Because He Lives”.  Tears of joy welled up because I see God working out his beautiful plan to bring children into our lives. He’s brought me through my hurt and is revealing his plans for our family.  I may not hold a “new born baby” because more than likely the children we adopt will be past the stage of infancy, but I know that God is preparing to bless us with a family.  My prayer is that God will bless us in such a radical way that others will be drawn to Him and His name will be glorified!

I know the words, “This child can face uncertain days because Christ lives”, will ring true as we welcome children into our home.  Currently our children don’t know us and we don’t know them.  Uncertain days are promised for us all, but my heart rejoices that because Jesus Christ is alive we can face these days with peace, confidence, and joy.   I pray for our children to learn that in Christ they have victory over whatever difficult situations they have had to face in their young lives.”

When I wrote the words, “My prayer is that God will bless us in such a radical way that others will be drawn to Him and His name will be glorified”, I had no idea of how rich God’s blessings were going to be.  We are now a family of seven, amazing! He lavishly pours out His love, grace, and mercy on us.  His provisions have been nothing short of miraculous. 

I can’t sing it loudly enough, “God is good!”  He answers our prayers, abundantly! Not only did He send us four of the most precious little boys, He blessed us with a baby girl.  A baby – I never imagined our adoption process through the foster care system would result in being placed with an infant, but God has indeed blessed us more abundantly than we could ever ask or imagine.  We met our baby girl when she was barely a month old, and oh how sweet it was to hold that new born baby. One thing I’ve learned for sure is that His plans far exceed our expectations, always. 

Stay tuned . . . I hope to begin writing more about our journey of living an abundant life in the miraculous provisions of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.    

Because He lives I can face tomorrow, because He lives all fear is gone; because I know He holds the future and life is worth the living – just because He lives!

He Lives!

 I’m finally getting around to a post that God began speaking to me about at Easter. It’s no surprise that once again God used the words of a song to encourage my heart.   Maybe you can hear him speaking to you through this song too.  I love the hope that “Because He Lives” by Bill and Gloria Gaither delivers.  The truths sung in this beautiful song ring true in my life in so many ways, and I confess I rarely can sing it with a dry eye.

Verse One ~ God sent His son – they called Him Jesus; He came to love, heal and forgive; He lived and died to buy my pardon; an empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

We all have struggles and moments of wondering if we actually can face tomorrow.  Good news - we serve a risen savior!  We don’t have to wonder, we can know.  We know he lives.  We know he holds the future.  Aren’t God’s promises exciting?!

Verse Two ~ How sweet to hold a new-born baby and feel the pride and joy he gives; but greater still the calm assurance; this child can face uncertain days because Christ lives.

On Easter 2008 this verse took on a new significance.  We had just found out we were expecting and the words, “How sweet to hold a new born baby”, brought a new excitement and joy to my heart.  I’ve sung this song many times before, but not until this moment did these words seem so special to me.  A new born baby, my new born baby; I couldn’t imagine anything greater.  God knew the future, that I would never hold my new born baby on this earth.  Had I written my story, I would have never thought to include a chapter with a miscarriage, but I could face that sad time in my life because Christ lives.  God so delicately holds my future and he knows the plans he has for my life.  He’s known these plans long before I was ever born! I’m learning to accept His story for my life and be thankful that I’m not the author.  He’s taking me on a journey of sweet release of control and obsessive planning; a journey that is bringing me into the calming presence and peace of Jesus. (The devotional book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young has been a great companion on this journey).

Our time of worship on Easter 2012 once again included, “Because He Lives”.  Tears of joy welled up because I see God working out his beautiful plan to bring children into our lives. He’s brought me through my hurt and is revealing his plans for our family.  I may not hold a “new born baby” because more than likely the children we adopt will be past the stage of infancy, but I know that God is preparing to bless us with a family.  My prayer is that God will bless us in such a radical way that others will be drawn to him and his name will be glorified!

I know the words, “This child can face uncertain days because Christ lives”, will ring true as we welcome children into our home.  Currently our children don’t know us and we don’t know them.  Uncertain days are promised for us all, but my heart rejoices that because Jesus Christ is alive we can face these days with peace, confidence, and joy.   I pray for our children to learn that in Christ they have victory over whatever difficult situations they have experienced in their young lives.  I know that as a family in Christ we can endure the challenges that will arise.

Verse Three ~ And then one day I’ll cross the river; I’ll fight life’s final war with pain;  and then, as death gives way to victory, I’ll see the lights of glory – and I’ll know He lives.

“I’ll fight life’s final war with pain.”  Pain is promised in this world, but my heart leaps knowing that this world is not the end!  One day, one beautiful day, pain will cease to exist.  I’m thankful for the life God has blessed me with on this earth, but my heart rejoices knowing I have an eternal home where struggles with physical pain will be no more.  When I was diagnosed with endometriosis, I naively thought that after my first surgery I was “fixed”.  Surgeries helped, but definitely didn’t cure.  Instead chronic, nagging pain and personal struggles prevailed.  Praise the Lord that endo is not a life threatening disease, but it definitely threatens the quality of your life.  You look fine, but don’t always feel so fine.  Too often I’ve entertained questions like, “Why won’t you just heal me already?”, but God is working on changing this way of thinking.  He’s transforming my earthly viewpoint into an eternal one.  He’s teaching me to diligently pray for others struggling with physical pain.  He’s teaching me to draw near to him and that he will draw near to me.  He's teaching me that's it's not all about me, but instead all about Jesus.  I’m learning that my life desperately depends on God’s help and guidance – not my own. 

Because He lives I can face tomorrow, because He lives all fear is gone; because I know He holds the future and life is worth the living – just because He lives.

Not only can I face tomorrow, but I can celebrate today!  I can be thankful for this very moment that God has given me.  I’m excited about the future, but I’m learning to relish the life that God has blessed me with today.  As far as the adoption process goes, "relishing today" means waiting for God to move.   It means diligently seeking him while we wait.  So far we've done all that's required of us by the state and we're just waiting for a call from our social worker.  What a wonderful call that will be!

I Love to Tell the Story

Who doesn’t love a good story?  I know I do.  I’m married to one of the best story tellers I know.  Jeremy has a knack for captivating audiences of all ages with his stories.  Some of my favorite lessons I teach in my music classroom center around stories.  I treasure memories of special people like my Grandma Lee and Uncle Joe telling me stories of generations past.  Stories entertain, teach, and inspire.  They evoke every response from laughter to tears.   

While reflecting on the stories of my life, at first I see “dots” . . . moments in time, people in my life, circumstances, experiences, etc.  Too often I view these “dots” as solitary, not relating in any way.  A step back and a deeper look at the “bigger picture” of my life in Christ reveals the connection between these dots.    The intricate connections Christ has so beautifully created become visible. Christ connects these “dots” to create the story of each of our lives.  These “dots” are not haphazard or coincidental, but rather moments of preparation for God’s glory to be revealed.  Often times I lack an understanding of how the dots will connect, but through the good times and the not so good times, God is always working. He’s working things together for our good and more importantly for his glory to be revealed in us.

We all have stories to tell.  Some we’re eager to share, others, not so much.  God is impressing on my heart the importance of sharing our stories and encouraging others with accounts of how He’s “connecting the dots” in our lives.

 Honestly, I was hesitant to put the story of our adoption journey in a public forum.  Sharing things about your life, especially in writing, can bring an uneasy sense of vulnerability.  Questions like, “What will people say?” or “What could I possibly have to say that’s worth reading?” arise.   As I selfishly pondered these questions and doubts, God gently reminded me, “Bonnie, It’s not about you.  It’s about Me.  It’s not about what people will think of you.  It’s about how the story of Jesus Christ in your life can draw others to Me and bring glory to My name.”  What a gracious God we serve!

More than ever, we need to uplift and encourage one another by sharing our stories.  Crushing burdens such as anxiety, heartache, pain, and loneliness are paralyzing us.   The only replacement for these burdens is the comforting peace and presence of Jesus Christ in our lives. One thing I’m learning is that we are all going through something, and you never know what someone else may be going through.  You never know how your story might impact someone’s life. So, I encourage you to tell your story!   Do you love to tell the story of Jesus and his love?

“I Love to Tell the Story”

I love to tell the story of unseen things above,
Of Jesus and His glory, of Jesus and His love;
I love to tell the story, because I know ’tis true,
It satisfies my longings as nothing else would do.

Refrain:
I love to tell the story, ’Twill be my theme in glory,
To tell the old, old story, Of Jesus and His love.

I love to tell the story, more wonderful it seems
Than all the golden fancies of all our golden dreams;
I love to tell the story, it did so much for me,
And that is just the reason I tell it now to thee.

I love to tell the story, ’tis pleasant to repeat,
What seems each time I tell it more wonderfully sweet;
I love to tell the story, for some have never heard
The message of salvation from God’s own holy Word.

I love to tell the story, for those who know it best
Seem hungering and thirsting to hear it like the rest;
And when in scenes of glory I sing the new, new song,
’Twill be the old, old story that I have loved so long.

Tebow's Take on Orphans

Anybody who knows me, knows that I've always been a Tebow fan!  The book Through My Eyes is the inspiring and uplifting story of Tim Tebow's life.  Here's a short excerpt that captures his heart for orphans: 

“When faced with the opportunity to make a difference, I know that those who become involved in positive ways in orphans’ lives are themselves blessed.  And from that involvement, the kids begin to understand how important they are.  Once they begin to be helped, fed, clothed, educated, nurtured, cared for, and loved, they start to become the children and eventually adults that God intended them to be when He created them.  I truly believe that the God who loves me also looks at orphans as extremely special.  Over and over, my parents showed us how the Bible talks about taking care of widows and orphans.  God created each one unique, with gifts and abilities like no one else, for His purposes in this world.  Being able to explain that to orphans is an amazing experience, to tell them God’s story, like:  ‘The best dad out there – God - loves you so much and wants to adopt you into His family.’  I’ve always found this to be the best, most encouraging thing you can tell an orphan, that we’re all adopted into the family of God.  Follow it up with a long hug, and then a lifetime of caring and commitment so that they have a chance to become all that God created them to be.”

Here's a link about the orphanage that the Tewbows  have established in the Philippines:
http://www.timtebowfoundation.org/uncle-dicks-home

Steven Curtis Chapman - When Love Takes You In

Making Progress!

Our adoption file is to the state awaiting approval.  We were recently told that we need to have our CPR / first aid certifications.  Jeremy’s work credentials satisfy his requirement and he’ll be able to train me.  As far as we know this is one of the last things to check off the list before we are eligible for kids.  Now it’s just a matter of waiting for a referral.

Waiting . . . not always an easy thing to do, but God is doing great things during this season in our lives.  While we wait to be united with our children God is working diligently.  I’m reminded that all of this is happening to reveal His glory and that His timing is perfect.  The excitement and anticipation grow everyday as we approach the moment of welcoming children into our home, and I praise God for giving us a peace and patience that can only come from Him.  Seldom do we feel anxious or nervous and for anyone who knows my nature and struggle to control things, knows this is clearly a gift from God!  He’s teaching me; teaching me so many things, mostly that He IS in control. I hear his spirit gently whispering to my heart, “I’ve got this.” He holds this universe in his hands and yet cares about every detail of my life!  Who am I, that a God so magnificent, would care about me?  I love the answer to this question - I am a child of God!

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!  The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.”  I John 3:1

That is what we are – children of God!  Isn’t this beautiful?!  As we welcome children into our home, our heart’s desire is for them too to know God as their Father. Knowing that God has a plan to bring Jeremy and I together with children who need the love of a father and mother and to be taught about the unconditional love of God is beyond anything I could have ever imagined.  My heart is full of thanksgiving and joy for the plan God is working out in our lives.

"Adopted for Life"

As we began exploring different avenues of adoption, I ran across the book Adopted for Life.  Russell D. Moore tells his story of adopting two boys from Russia and draws beautiful parallels with his earthly adoption experience and our spiritual adoption as children of God.  “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.  In love he predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will  . .”  Ephesians 1:4-5

The book was a great encouragement for us to begin taking the practical steps towards welcoming children into our family through adoption.  Moore writes, “At a more fundamental level, it’s important to know that you don’t always have to know how God will equip you to adopt before you begin praying and planning toward adoption.”  And that’s exactly what we did. God is directing our steps and the pieces are falling into place.  He’s revealing to us that he truly does work all things together for good! 

Moore clearly explains how adoption is “evangelistic to the core.” “What better way is there to bring the good news of Christ than to see his unwanted little brothers and sisters placed in families where they’ll be raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (pg 75). 

 “Some unique challenges go along with adoption – challenges related to finding a sense of belonging, to discipline and discipleship, to answering questions about origins.  Count these all joy.  They point all of us – not just kids who were adopted- to the gospel.  The gospel welcomes us and receives us as loved children.  The gospel disciplines us and prepares us for eternity as heirs.  The gospel speaks truth to us and shows us our misery in Adam and our glory in Christ.  The gospel shows us that we were born into death and then shows us, by free grace, that we’re adopted for life”  (pg  214).

I must confess that I did not make it through the entire book with dry eyes.  Many of the stories of Moore’s earthly adoption experience were heartbreaking, but what impressed me even more was how they so powerfully relate to our spiritual adoption.  I’ll never forget how he described his two young sons crying as they left the orphanage for the final time.  The boys wept for what they were leaving behind because they did not know how beautiful their future was going to be.  How often are we guilty of weeping and clinging to this nasty, filthy world?  Praise God that this earth is not our home!  He has prepared a life and future for us that are far greater than we could ever imagine.  We can stop the weeping and clinging because we are adopted as his sons - We are adopted for life!  

Adoption - Forgotten Lunch :30

This commercial gave us a good laugh ~ enjoy!

"Children Of God" - Official Music Video

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! 
And that is what we are!"

1 John 3:1